Category: love poems

Soon I’ll Undergo A Breast Augmentation

I endured a testosterone driven puberty
One that nearly irrecoverably broke me
But somehow I came out and
Tolled the world I’m transgender female
So now to lessen my dysphoria
Further lessen my crippling gender dysphoria
And bring my more gender congruence
Bring my even more gender congruence
Soon I’ll undergo a breast augmentation

I’m Her And She’s Me

Still trying to put together
A relatable image that I
Can see in the mirror
And be comfortable enough to
Go take out and about
But letting people see what
I’ve got it just reminds
Me how far I’ve still
To go to get her
On to my own face

I’m her and she’s me
A person stained by testosterone
Some of what it did
Well it can be undone
But the rest it’s permanent
And my biggest scar
What I’ve got it reminds
Me how far I’ve still
To go to get her
On to my own face

Sometimes I Don’t Trust Myself With Loving Me Fully

Sometimes I don’t trust myself with loving me fully
And that’s why sometimes I just let myself go
But every time I do this I end up
I end up loving myself less

Eat way too much of all the wrong things
Sometimes it’s ‘cause I don’t like how I look
Other times it’s ‘cause I can’t see any purpose
Any purpose to my own life

But in the back of my mind there’s always
A feeling that’s urging me to just carry on
As a result I’ve always gone and carried on
On to an uncertain new day

Sometimes I don’t trust myself with loving me fully
And that’s why sometimes I just let myself go
But every time I do this I end up
I end up loving myself less

Don’t eat enough or any of the right things
Sometimes it’s ‘cause I don’t like how I look
Other times it’s ‘cause I can’t see any purpose
Any purpose to my own life

But in the back of my mind there’s always
A feeling that’s urging me to just carry on
As a result I’ve always gone and carried on
On to an uncertain new day

Sometimes I don’t trust myself with loving me fully
And that’s why sometimes I just let myself go
But every time I do this I end up
I end up loving myself less

Stay up too late and get up to late
Sometimes it’s ‘cause I don’t like how I look
Other times it’s ‘cause I can’t see any purpose
Any purpose to my own life

But in the back of my mind there’s always
A feeling that’s urging my to just carry on
As a result I’ve always gone and carried on
On to an uncertain new day

Despite all the anxiety attacks that I’ve had and
The dark thoughts that’ve come into my own head
I’m still carrying on to an uncertain new day
On to an uncertain new day

The Best Me I Can Be

I’m more broken and less broken
Then when I was a kid
I’ve less completeness and more congruence
Then when I was a kid
I don’t wanna be a kid
Ever hafta be a kid again
‘Cause being a kid was hard
But being an adult is hard
Being an adult is also hard
Just wanna be the best me
The best me I can be
That’s a me that’s over all
The bullying that I’ve received
When I was being a kid
I thought I could’ve gone farther
Gone much farther than I’ve gone
I’ve gone so much farther than
When I was being a kid
I was the obviously different kid
And the invisibly different kid simultaneously
I’ve always been trying to be
Just trying to be the best
The best me I can be
The best me I can be

I’m more broken and less broken
Then when I was a kid
I’ve less completeness and more congruence
Then when I was a kid
I do wanna be a kid
Go and be a kid again
But only with my current ability
To explain and express my gender
‘Cause I’d wanna be the best
The best me I can be
That’s a me that’ll be able
To handle the bullying I’d receive
When I’m being a kid again
I’d get to go farther than
Go much farther than I’ve gone
Wile having to be an adult
I’ve gone way less farther than
When I’m being a kid again
I’ll be the obviously different kid
And never the invisibly different kid
I’d always be trying to be
Just trying to be the best
The best me I can be
The best me I can be

Just trying to be the best
The best me I can be
The best me I can be

My Reflective Response to Psalm 139:13-16

“For You have created my conscience.
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise You, for I am awesomely, wonderfully made!
Wonderful are Your works—
and my soul knows that very well.
My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw me when I was unformed,
and in Your book were written the days that were formed—
when not one of them had come to be.”
(Psalm 139:13-16 Tree of Life Version)

My conscience she knew Your creation before she knew You, and You knew me before I was to know of the life journey I was to go on.
You knew my journey was to be a unique expression of Your love, and Your love gives me strength to carry on.
Even when I get anxious or feel uncomfortable with my body, Your love it is what ultimately gives me strength to carry on.
I know that even when hatred is spewed my way and disease gets ravaged upon my body, that it is Your love that will ultimately give me strength to carry on.
For it is the knowledge that I have of the fact that I and my journey are both expressions of who You are that I never ever had the thought of opting out.
And I Know my journey it was written in Your book even before any of it had come to be.

Finally Fuelled By Estrogen

Testosterone is no longer my nemesis
‘Cause its production has been disassembled
And put in the garbage now
I am finally fuelled by estrogen
It comes in little tablets that
I take sublingually twice a day
It is all ‘cause they did
Make my outie into an innie

I Am A Beloved Daughter Of The Father

I am a beloved daughter of the Father
And that reality is a hard won understanding
That I hold very close to my heart
‘Cause people they denied me my opportunity to
Have a relationship with my very loving God
The opportunity to explore my femininity and robbed
Me my opportunity to live as a girl
I never got to live as a girl

I am a beloved daughter of the Father
And that reality is a hard won understanding
That I got by always pushing on forward
Even if I needed rest for a while
Eventually I would always go push on forward
To the understanding I can sill get to
Live as a woman who gets a relationship
Ever expanding relationship with her very loving God

I am a beloved daughter of the Father
And that reality is a hard won understanding

I Never Thought I Should Die

I never thought I should die
‘Cause I never thought I knew
What it was to feel ok

And I want to feel what
It is like to feel ok
Ok in this body of mine

My mind has always seemed ok
Till it got signals from my
My body has never felt ok

So soon I am going under
Under the knife to make some
Of my body finally feel ok

It will hurt first then it
It will start to feel insignificant
Insignificant for the first time ever

This will be some sweet relief
Relief that has been long overdue
Long overdue in coming my way

Daughters Like Us, Part Two

(Before reading Daughters Like Us, Part Two pleas make sure you have read Daughters Like Us, Part One first.)

Daughters like us
When we arrived
Into our adulthood
We got declared
Healthy young men
Yeah that’s right

We were always
Addressed as Mr.
Never as Ms.
Our dad’s tried
But we still
Couldn’t like football

And as a
Result we heard
Stinging words like
Just man up
Not ones like
Hello precious daughter

Daughters like us
When we arrived
Into our adulthood
We got declared
Healthy young men
Yeah that’s right

But there was
Nothing healthy about
Our deeply repressed
And deeply felt
Gender identities that
Desperately needed sharing

And as a
Result we broke
Down and told
You our truth
And finally heard
Hello precious daughter