Tag Archives: bullying

But Eventually I Will Get To Where I Needa Be

I see and feel my physical body changing every day
But some days it seems it is not fast enough
And that still my first puberty it is too visible
But then I notice how my clothes now fit differently
And for a moment I no longer feel so bad

But eventually I will get to where I needa be
And it will take lots and lots of my energy
And yes it will bring me down along the way
But it will also along the way lift me up
And make me feel so much better about being myself

I notice the thoughts in my head changing every day
But some days it seems they are not fast enough
And that still I worry about things like being bullied
But then I realize those are thing from my past
And for a moment I no longer feel so bad

But eventually I will get to where I needa be
And it will take lots and lots of my energy
And yes it will bring me down along the way
But it will also along the way lift me up
And make me feel so much better about being myself

I notice the thoughts in my head changing every day
But some days it seems they are not fast enough
And that still I worry about things like my j-pouch
And I realize that they are not in my past
And for a moment again I do go feel bad

But eventually I will get to where I needa be
And it will take lots and lots of my energy
And yes it will bring me down along the way
But it will also along the way lift me up
And make me feel so much better about being myself

(And That’s Why) I Never Lived As A Girl

If I could’ve been that little girl I was
At home, at school, and at church then what…
What would’ve my life been like, life been like
Would I’ve been more confident, happy, and more authentic
Would I’ve been more authentic, more truly authentically me
And would people have liked me more ‘cause I…
‘Cause I liked myself oh so very much more
Very much more then having to be a boy
I hated being a boy but I hated being…
I hated being bullied at school so much more
And that’s why I never lived as a girl

Love Yourself

The hardest thing to do is love yourself
Well after you’ve been pommelled with hurtful words
And not had chances to find out who
Who you need’a become to be truly yourself
Need’a be truly yourself

Oh I’ll try to wake each day now
With love for myself, the kind that’s unshakable
I may falter, have moments of self doubt
Still through it I’ll tray too love myself
With love that’s unshakable

Oh now wen I walk streets
They’ll see that I love God
By how I sparkle and glow

Oh they’ll ask me how I
Did get to be this way
I get to be this way

By being true to myself and
Unafraid to shine it out now
Unafraid to shine it out now

Oh Why Do People Have To Be So Damn Cruel?

Your in the family Chevy going fast into the city
Your mom’s driving, you’re begging your head to not hurt
Your afraid that you’ll throw up again like all evening
To you this feels so not like a perfect day

To you this feels so not like a perfect day
Siting in the emergency waiting room still with hurting head
Nears at counter gives you bucket and you again puke
To you this feels so not like a perfect day

Oh why do people have to be so damn cruel?
You where simply siting in your seat minding your business
Doing what you always do just listing to your walkman
You where just trying to make it listening to county

You got off the small yellow bus at your stop
And you stumbled home and cranked up Billy Ray Cyrus
Loud you tried to get the music to clear your head
Oh why do people have to be so damn cruel?

It was only just a punch right in your face
Oh why did he punch you right in your face?
Oh why did he punch you right in your face?
Why did he go punch you right in your face?

Oh why do people have to be so damn cruel?

My Bro

My bro I’ve watched you grow
And even flow
Flow a bit more closer to me
But somehow I should’ve known one day through it all you’d be
Be looking to go find who you are
So are you still going to be there for me wen I fall far?

Well defiantly yes
And what can I do in return but show you my respect ‘cause you deserve nothing less
And say I know that you were always there for me through the lonely days of my childhood
Childhood which for me went from curiosity to crying don’t know if I should
See I know now it would have really helped me if I’d tolled my youth group friends about the pain
Pain I felt shouldn’t ruin my youth group fun by falling out of me like rain

But who can talk about the mental and fiscal pushing and shoving
Especially when they’re in a place of loving
And I was no different always acting like a funny clown
Clown I was ‘cause I didn’t want to bring them, let alone me down
But down I should have come of my high horse before I started to sink
And tried somehow to clearly about it all think

Shellshock

Need to scream
But here I sit
Vary quiet and still
Oh inside my room
‘Cause I no longer know how to move

And it’s ‘cause of the shellshock
Caused by what I’ve seen

Need to scream
But here I sit
Just listening to BarlowGirl
Oh inside my room
‘Cause I no longer know how to move

And it’s ‘cause of the shellshock
Caused by what I’ve experienced

I can’t go back
Oh to the happy little child
I once was
Oh so inquisitive
But they shot me down
Shot me dawn

And it’s ‘cause of the shellshock
Caused by what I’ve experienced

Don’t taunt your peers
‘Cause you have no idea
What they can be
And maybe they could be
A great friend
Or even a great lover too

And if they’re not somebody
It’ll be ‘cause of the shellshock
Caused by what you’ve done

Need to scream
But here I sit
Again listening to Superchick
Oh inside my room
‘Cause I no longer know haw to move

And it’s ‘cause of the shellshock
Caused by what I’ve experienced

And in spite of you
They’ll be somebody
Like a caring individual
Or even a really compassionate person

And inspirit of you I’ll be
I’ll be somebody
Like a loyal friend
Or even a really lovable gal

And it’s ‘cause of the shellshock
Caused by what you’ve done

And I,
Need to scream…!

Tomorrow Will Be Wonderful

Born with curiosity in all of your veins
But now there are things you’d rather not know

And like your younger brother there will be
Some who will always be there for, yes you

And you will pull on through the roadblocks
Lade out in front of you by those who
Aren’t there for you

Some will never be there for, yes you
But that does not mean you should not yourself

Head only towards the good times ‘cause the bad
They will leave you pacing and really freaking out

Love we all need it oh so deeply
And deep friendship we’re all desperately searching for it
Desperately searching for it

Born with curiosity in all of your veins
But now there are things you’d rather not know

Things like why your parents went separate ways
And why your brother is doing better then you

Born with curiosity in all of your veins
And still there are things you’d like to know
You’d like to know

Things like why you where letdown by schools
And their public education system and subjected to bullying

And if it was not for your church’s
Youth group it’s what got you through hard times

Allowing you to still be here today with
Hope that tomorrow will become oh so wonderful, wonderful
Tomorrow will be wonderful

You Saved Me

Crazy good was I when in your presence
Always smilin’ happy so you’d never know oh…
You, you saved me
You, you saved me

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

My perception said that your presence was perfection
But perfection decent last long unlike bad memories
They, linger on mind
Linger, on my mind

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

You gave me some good Sunday mornin’ times
And those weekend youth conference trips to oh…
You, you saved me
You, you saved me

Youth Group if it wasn’t for you oh…
High School name calling would’ve don me in
For-sure, don me in
Don, me in for-sure

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

Crazy good was I wen in your presence
Ya-ya, ya-ya, ya-ya, ya-ya, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Always smilin’ happy oh…
You, you saved me

Smilin’ happy
Smilin’ happy
Smilin’ happy
Smilin’ happy…

I Will Just Fall Down

Push me around
Knock me around
And I will just fall down

Call me names
Behind me man
And I will just fall down

Because when I
Do get taunted
Oh I need to just believe

Yeah I will
Stop my doting
And will begin to just believe

Because wen I
Do get taunted
Oh I need to just believe

That this can’t
Be for not
So I will just fall down

And the Creator
Praise him because
He can give this needed meaning

I am needing
Some meaning now
So I will just fall down

I will just fall down
I will just fall down
I will just fall down

Yes I Was Like Stone

I’m stiff with fear hear
From your push and shove
Where’s your love
‘Cause I’m dying deep inside
Where’s your love

You shoved hard
I didn’t hit the ground
Nor did bleed
Or even start to cry
Your names’ll never hurt me

Hurt me and I’ll scream
Scream about what you did
If I’d courage
Maybe you’d had’ta change
Had’ta change yourself

I’m alright, alright
‘Cause I’m liking myself less
Less then yesterday
Yesterday before I know you
Before I got like stone

I’m free like bird now
From your push and shove
Where’s your love
I’m not dying inside anymore
Where’s your love

You shoved hard
I didn’t hit the ground
Nor did bleed
Or even start to cry
Your names they hurt me

Hurt me you did that
Scream about what you did
I’ve courage now
Maybe you’d have’ta change yourself
If I did

I’m alright, alright
‘Cause I’m liking myself more
More then yesterday
Yesterday wen I know you
Yes I was like stone