Tag Archives: struggle

My Reflective Response to Psalm 139:13-16

“For You have created my conscience.
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise You, for I am awesomely, wonderfully made!
Wonderful are Your works—
and my soul knows that very well.
My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw me when I was unformed,
and in Your book were written the days that were formed—
when not one of them had come to be.”
(Psalm 139:13-16 Tree of Life Version)

My conscience she knew Your creation before she knew You, and You knew me before I was to know of the life journey I was to go on.
You knew my journey was to be a unique expression of Your love, and Your love gives me strength to carry on.
Even when I get anxious or feel uncomfortable with my body, Your love it is what ultimately gives me strength to carry on.
I know that even when hatred is spewed my way and disease gets ravaged upon my body, that it is Your love that will ultimately give me strength to carry on.
For it is the knowledge that I have of the fact that I and my journey are both expressions of who You are that I never ever had the thought of opting out.
And I Know my journey it was written in Your book even before any of it had come to be.

I Struggle

I struggle
Always struggled
I blessed
Always blessed
And through it all
I never wanted to
Go and give up
And end my life
One day I will
Find someone to love
Who will want to
Always love me back
And we
will go
And grow
Old together

I Never Thought I Should Die

I never thought I should die
‘Cause I never thought I knew
What it was to feel ok

And I want to feel what
It is like to feel ok
Ok in this body of mine

My mind has always seemed ok
Till it got signals from my
My body has never felt ok

So soon I am going under
Under the knife to make some
Of my body finally feel ok

It will hurt first then it
It will start to feel insignificant
Insignificant for the first time ever

This will be some sweet relief
Relief that has been long overdue
Long overdue in coming my way

Daughters Like Us, Part Two

(Before reading Daughters Like Us, Part Two pleas make sure you have read Daughters Like Us, Part One first.)

Daughters like us
When we arrived
Into our adulthood
We got declared
Healthy young men
Yeah that’s right

We were always
Addressed as Mr.
Never as Ms.
Our dad’s tried
But we still
Couldn’t like football

And as a
Result we heard
Stinging words like
Just man up
Not ones like
Hello precious daughter

Daughters like us
When we arrived
Into our adulthood
We got declared
Healthy young men
Yeah that’s right

But there was
Nothing healthy about
Our deeply repressed
And deeply felt
Gender identities that
Desperately needed sharing

And as a
Result we broke
Down and told
You our truth
And finally heard
Hello precious daughter

Daughters Like Us, Part One

Daughters like us
When we arrived
Into this world
We got declared
Healthy baby boys
Yeah that’s right

We were always
Dressed in pants
Never in dresses
And our dads
Hoped we’d love
Sports like football

And as a
Result we had
First words like
Hut and ball
Not ones like
Hello precious daughter

Daughters like us
When we arrived
Into this world
We got declared
Healthy baby boys
Yeah that’s right

We were always
Dressed in vibrant
Never pink colours
‘Cause our progressive
Moms thought we
Were their sons

And as a
Result we’d only
Wear utilitarian clothes
‘Cause we gave
Up on hearing
Hello precious daughter

(After reading Daughters Like Us, Part One pleas make sure to read Daughters Like Us, Part Two.)

(I Am Being) More Authentically Me

Here at this stage and age of my life
I am not what I thought I would be
But at least I am not being inauthentic anymore
I am, every day, being more authentically me
But still sometimes, I get self-conscious about my body
When I am like this it messes with my mind
And it leaves me in a state of sadness
A state of self-critical sadness that brings me down
But luckily this state it does not last long
And I get to be again, more authentically me
Here at this stage and age of my life
I am not what I thought I would be
But at least I am not being inauthentic anymore
I am, every day, being more authentically me
I am being more authentically me, more authentically me