Tag Archives: true self

Finally Fuelled By Estrogen

Testosterone is no longer my nemesis
‘Cause its production has been disassembled
And put in the garbage now
I am finally fuelled by estrogen
It comes in little tablets that
I take sublingually twice a day
It is all ‘cause they did
Make my outie into an innie

I Never Thought I Should Die

I never thought I should die
‘Cause I never thought I knew
What it was to feel ok

And I want to feel what
It is like to feel ok
Ok in this body of mine

My mind has always seemed ok
Till it got signals from my
My body has never felt ok

So soon I am going under
Under the knife to make some
Of my body finally feel ok

It will hurt first then it
It will start to feel insignificant
Insignificant for the first time ever

This will be some sweet relief
Relief that has been long overdue
Long overdue in coming my way

Daughters Like Us, Part Two

(Before reading Daughters Like Us, Part Two pleas make sure you have read Daughters Like Us, Part One first.)

Daughters like us
When we arrived
Into our adulthood
We got declared
Healthy young men
Yeah that’s right

We were always
Addressed as Mr.
Never as Ms.
Our dad’s tried
But we still
Couldn’t like football

And as a
Result we heard
Stinging words like
Just man up
Not ones like
Hello precious daughter

Daughters like us
When we arrived
Into our adulthood
We got declared
Healthy young men
Yeah that’s right

But there was
Nothing healthy about
Our deeply repressed
And deeply felt
Gender identities that
Desperately needed sharing

And as a
Result we broke
Down and told
You our truth
And finally heard
Hello precious daughter

Daughters Like Us, Part One

Daughters like us
When we arrived
Into this world
We got declared
Healthy baby boys
Yeah that’s right

We were always
Dressed in pants
Never in dresses
And our dads
Hoped we’d love
Sports like football

And as a
Result we had
First words like
Hut and ball
Not ones like
Hello precious daughter

Daughters like us
When we arrived
Into this world
We got declared
Healthy baby boys
Yeah that’s right

We were always
Dressed in vibrant
Never pink colours
‘Cause our progressive
Moms thought we
Were their sons

And as a
Result we’d only
Wear utilitarian clothes
‘Cause we gave
Up on hearing
Hello precious daughter

(After reading Daughters Like Us, Part One pleas make sure to read Daughters Like Us, Part Two.)

She’s Your Only Daughter

What you two didn’t
Know before was broken
You will now do
What you can to
Make it more better
For the one you
Love so very much
She’s your only daughter

You didn’t know that
She was your daughter
Till she told you
When she was thirty-two
And thank goodness that
The two of you
Both said that you
Still loved her lots

One of you will
Be there to see
Her off to surgery
And again in recovery
The other will be
Driving her back home
To be there for
Her further needed recovery

What you two didn’t
Know before was broken
You have now done
What you can to
Make it more better
For the one you
Love so very much
She’s your only daughter

She’s your only daughter

Hiding Behind A Face

I was hiding behind a face
One with a moustache and sideburns
Yes I had long hair ‘cause
I thought the Alan Jackson look
It would protect me like armour
But I was just being phony

I was one of the miserable
Most miserable kids in high school
Yes it was a total disaster
Well ‘cause I was going through
The wrong puberty and I was
A girl hiding in the closet

Sometimes the truth people see is
Not the truth you have inside
And if you fear sharing yours
It may be ‘cause you feel
You’ve already experienced to much bullying
To handle anymore in your life

But if this sounds like you
Don’t go and be like me
Instead go speak your truth out
‘Cause you’ll feel better if you
Get the chance to transition young
I wish I did transition young

But I hid behind a face
One with a moustache and sideburns
Yes I had long hair ‘cause
I thought the Alan Jackson look
It would protect me like armour
But I was just being phony

I’m Not A Mess

Tell me that I
Am on the path
To having congruence with
My gender and sex

Tell me that my
Mind’ll stop its thinking
About the incongruence with
My gender and sex

Tell me that I
Will be more then
Just a total mess
I’m not a mess

I’m just far from
Where I needa be
But I’ll get there
It’ll take only time

And me taking my
HRT tablets every evening
Without thoughts of ever
Going and giving up

Tell me that I
Am on the path
To having congruence with
My gender and sex

Tell me that my
Mind’ll stop its thinking
About the incongruence with
My gender and sex

Tell me that I
Will be more then
Just a total mess
I’m not a mess

I’m not a mess

But Eventually I Will Get To Where I Needa Be

I see and feel my physical body changing every day
But some days it seems it is not fast enough
And that still my first puberty it is too visible
But then I notice how my clothes now fit differently
And for a moment I no longer feel so bad

But eventually I will get to where I needa be
And it will take lots and lots of my energy
And yes it will bring me down along the way
But it will also along the way lift me up
And make me feel so much better about being myself

I notice the thoughts in my head changing every day
But some days it seems they are not fast enough
And that still I worry about things like being bullied
But then I realize those are thing from my past
And for a moment I no longer feel so bad

But eventually I will get to where I needa be
And it will take lots and lots of my energy
And yes it will bring me down along the way
But it will also along the way lift me up
And make me feel so much better about being myself

I notice the thoughts in my head changing every day
But some days it seems they are not fast enough
And that still I worry about things like my j-pouch
And I realize that they are not in my past
And for a moment again I do go feel bad

But eventually I will get to where I needa be
And it will take lots and lots of my energy
And yes it will bring me down along the way
But it will also along the way lift me up
And make me feel so much better about being myself

Me Receiving Ample Congruence (Between Mind And Body)

I get all sad and I do cry
When I think of the parts of me
That I can not ever get given back
And the parts I will never be able
Able to grow or have made for me
And it is no longer about having completeness
It is now about me receiving ample congruence
Me receiving ample congruence between mind and body

I Won’t Even Notice What Is Now Down There

They are going to give me
That chance to never again feel
That distress that I get when
I go put on my underwear
It makes me want to adjust
In hopes of making it disappear

They are going to reshape it
So I can begin to feel
No more distress when I go
I go put on my underwear
It will make me not even
Notice what is now down there

They are going to reshape it
Which will greatly help me continue
The process of being comfortable with
My physical form and with others and
When in unfamiliar group settings without
Noticing what is now down there

They are going to give me
That chance to never again feel
That distress that I get when
I go put on my underwear
It makes me want to adjust
In hopes of making it disappear

They are going to reshape it
So I can begin to feel
No more distress when I go
I go put on my underwear
It will make me not even
Notice what is now down there

They are going to reshape it
Which will greatly help me continue
The process of being comfortable with
My physical form and more congruent
With my mind’s thoughts which won’t
Notice what is now down there

I Won’t even notice what is now down there