But Eventually I Will Get To Where I Needa Be

I see and feel my physical body changing every day
But some days it seems it is not fast enough
And that still my first puberty it is too visible
But then I notice how my clothes now fit differently
And for a moment I no longer feel so bad

But eventually I will get to where I needa be
And it will take lots and lots of my energy
And yes it will bring me down along the way
But it will also along the way lift me up
And make me feel so much better about being myself

I notice the thoughts in my head changing every day
But some days it seems they are not fast enough
And that still I worry about things like being bullied
But then I realize those are thing from my past
And for a moment I no longer feel so bad

But eventually I will get to where I needa be
And it will take lots and lots of my energy
And yes it will bring me down along the way
But it will also along the way lift me up
And make me feel so much better about being myself

I notice the thoughts in my head changing every day
But some days it seems they are not fast enough
And that still I worry about things like my j-pouch
And I realize that they are not in my past
And for a moment again I do go feel bad

But eventually I will get to where I needa be
And it will take lots and lots of my energy
And yes it will bring me down along the way
But it will also along the way lift me up
And make me feel so much better about being myself

Soon I Will Undergo A Vulvoplasty

I was to have a vaginoplasty
It would have turned my penis
Into my own vulva and vagina
But thanks to five past surgeries
Which left me with no colon
And small intestine with a j-pouch

I can only have a vulvoplasty
Which can only turn my penis
Into my vary own vulva which
Can not ever bring me completeness
But instead it will bring me
Bring me feelings of gender congruence

Ulcerative colitis was the reason for
My five past surgeries weren’t cosmetic
In fact they saved my life
If not for them I wouldn’t
Be able to have my penis
Even turned into my own vulva

Soon I will undergo a vulvoplasty

Pooing (For Me It Is Now A Whole Different Experience)

Since my colon was removed, due to ulcerative colitis and
A j-pouch was formed from part of my small intestine
Pooing, for me it is now a whole different experience
One that takes longer then for colon owners, and that
Leaves me exhausted and hungry, and with body dysphoria that
I shove inside me so I can get to tomorrow
Yes an experience that I wish upon no one ever
Since my colon was removed, due to ulcerative colitis and
A j-pouch was formed from part of my small intestine
Pooing, for me it is now a whole different experience